Lestrange Song
by MrsBoreanaz1
Summary: when Bellatrix and Lucuis met River... it didn't go to well! :D implied River/Lucius
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **_I own neither Doctor Who nor Harry Potter, both belong to their repsective owners. This piece of writting is from an overzealous fan of both who does not intend to use it for profit._

**Dedication:** _For **JinxedEuphoria**who spent around about 2 days on Facebook giving me ideas so thank you Taylor! This is also for **IC-KakaNaruKaka-luvr**, Dii Dii, you are the Song to my River ! :D_

_**Summary: **Bellatrix has met River before ( I'm currently writting their first meeting) there's instant dislike there...(surprise,surprise!) Anyway River's enjoying a nice quiet night with her team when Bellatrix and Lucuis show up and decide to ruin it! (wow i really suck at summaries!) there's a cat fight in here so stay tuned for that! :D _

* * *

**Chapter one:**

It was half past eleven on an unusually cold summer's night when Professor River Song and her team of Archaeologists huddled next to the fireplace for warmth.

The cabin in which they were staying provided little heat but still their spirits were high. From no-where River's trusted pilot other Dave had conjured up a couple of bottles of wine and some glasses.

Even River herself was enjoying a glass. She was reminded of that time her and the Doctor had shared a night under the stars on a distant planet so long ago, but she couldn't tell anyone that...Spoilers!

River chuckled to herself as Anita stared at her curiously. River merely shook her head and gazed fondly around the room.

Anita, Proper Dave, Other Dave and Evangelista, all of the people she loved dearly in the universe, with the exception of the Doctor of course.

A heavy thud on the door brought the Archaeologist to her senses. Her team froze, all eyes on the door.

The there was a tremendous CRASH!

Followed by a large amount of dust that clouded their vision.

By the time the Archaeologists were able to see again they found the door lying on the floor, and a woman in the doorway.

She wore a black almost medieval type of dress which, with her heavily lidded eyes and wild hair (which made Rivers own curls look acceptable) gave the newcomer the look of a deranged and somewhat unstable person.

There was also the fact that she was brandishing a long black stick as if it were a weapon.

From outside the cabin River heard a male voice address the stranger,

"That will do Bellatrix now lower your wand!"

The woman named Bellatrix cackled madly, making Evangelista scream.

"Professor?" Anita cried, turning to River for guidance.

Bellatrix gave a jerk of surprise as she entered the cabin, "Professor?" she imitated mockingly,

"Teach at Hogwarts do we love? I told you they were Dumbledore's lot Lucius!" She spat angrily as a man entered the cabin.

He was also dressed in black which seemed to illuminate his platinum blonde hair.

"Who's in charge here?" he asked simply, glancing at each of the Archaeologists in turn.

"I am" River called out loudly.

Everyone turned to look at her. The man named Lucius frowned and tilted his head to the side,

"You look familiar, have we threatened you before?" He asked and Bellatrix fell into a fit of manic giggles.

Already knowing the answer to that question, River held her hand out as calmly as possible.

"Professor River Song"

The smile was wiped from Bellatrix's face while Lucius spat on the ground, somewhere near Other Dave's feet.

"Oh it's the songbird, remember her Lucius? Ms-I've-got-a-degree-from-Oxford, FILTHY MUDBLOOD!"

Although Bellatrix was once again mocking her face was livid.

"let's kill her now!" she cried, raising the stick in her hand.

A chorus of "NO!" came up from the rest of the Archaeologists and Lucius.

"We need her alive, _for now!_ " Lucius snarled, emphasising the last two words.

* * *

_Cue the dramatic music! :D_

_Btw the Doctor will make an appearance soon, can't reavel much more because...SPOILERS! :D _


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter two:**_

"Professor who are these people?" Anita asked, watching fearfully as Bellatrix and Lucius began pacing the cabin.

"Yes _Professor_" Lucius hissed in contempt "do explain who we are"

Keeping her voice level River replied, "Why don't you explain Lucius, and you can tell them about the night we spent at your manor as well"

There came a maddening cry of disbelief from the left side of the cabin and everyone turned to face Bellatrix. The pupils of her eyes were dilated, giving her an even more frightening appearance as she glared at Lucius.

"You've been unfaithful to my sister with this th-this thing?" "Do you mind?" River said coolly, her annoyance evident.

Bellatrix ignored her and instead gave Lucius a searching look,

"Of-of course not" Lucius replied finally, although he looked shaken.

With a scream of frustration Bellatrix darted forwards, for a second it looked as if she were about to strangle River, but at the last second she diverted to the right and grabbed Other Dave by the throat, the stick in her hand pointed level with his forehead.

There was a stunned silence before everyone except River and Lucius burst into laughter.

"You know that's a twig right?" Proper Dave chuckled.

River took a deep shuddering breath as she began to speak, "I'm so sorry Other Dave, but that's a real weapon, it's called a wand"

The scene instantly shifted back into tension.

It was Bellatrix's turn to laugh and she did so with vicious glee.

"Special to you his he? Is this the one you love then_ Professor_!" she cackled, indicating to Other Dave.

Before River could open her mouth to reply Bellatrix released Other Dave and instead turned on Proper Dave.

"Or is it this one?"

"No" Lucius began; seeming very eager to help "The one she loves goes by a title, _The Doctor_!" he sneered.

The look on River's face told him all he needed to know, Bellatrix relinquished her hold on Proper Dave.

"Shall we go pay The Doctor a visit? Oh no, the Songbird doesn't like that now does she?" Bellatrix cried mockingly.

She made her way over to Evangelista who began screaming hysterically at the sight of her. Proper Dave moved to comfort her, or perhaps only to shut her up, either way he was stopped by Lucius who pointed his own wand directly at the other man's chest.

"Nobody move!" Lucius cried, everyone froze.

And then there was a CRASH! From the doorway.

"I said nobody move!" Lucius cried in irritation.

A voice replied from the doorway, "Yes, I know, but I couldn't resist because this just happens to be a 15th century Venetian vase which contains an encrypted Binary code that leads to the tomb of the 12th Emperor of Orion 2.0"

They heard the sound of what was left of the vase in question being trampled on and all turned to the door.

River took one look at the red bowtie and tweed jacket before she screamed,

"DOCTER, RUN!"

Bellatrix's grin widened, "Doctor, we meet again"

* * *

_Told you the Doctor would make an appearance :D _

_also, as you read on, remmeber where the vase leads, it'll all make sense later! _


	3. Chapter 3

_and here it is, the catfight as promised! also, i'd like to take a minute to apologise in advance for the wand joke I just had to add in! _

_just a bit of fun :D _

_and yes, i do plan to write Belltrix/Lucius's first meeting with River/The Doctor...eventully! _

* * *

**Chapter three:**

"Yes, again, sorry, what do mean by again?"

The eleventh incarnation of the Doctor asked curiously gazing at the wand Lucius now pointed at him. River clapped a hand to her forehead.

"It's too early in his time stream" she cried.

The Doctor stared at her as if just realising she were in the room "River, lovely to see you again, how are you? Not planning any...expeditions, are you?" He asked casually as if he were not facing the threat of extinction.

"That's enough" Lucius snapped before he smirked, "Say goodbye to your precious Doctor, Song!"

Strangely River smiled back smugly, "Don't mind if I do Malfoy"

Before anyone could react River strode over to the door and threw her arms around the Doctor, she stood on tiptoes and whispered in his ear, "I'm so very sorry Doctor" Before she removed her arms and spun around, unaware of the look of bewilderment the Doctor gave her.

"What did you really come here for?" she hissed at Lucius, knowing there was no way Bellatrix would give her a straight answer.

"Why Professor, isn't the answer obvious? The Dark Lord knows all and he knew we had uh, loose ends to tie up. You survived to witness something you shouldn't of seen and now we need assurance that you will keep quiet."

Lucius' grin made Evangelista shiver.

River however stood by silently, _remembering the screams_, _Bellatrix, darting around the crowd, a malicious smile on her face as she raised her wand. In her mind River saw the flashes of green light and wherever she turned, bodies falling lifeless to the ground. _

"I stood by then, and did nothing but watch, but I _**will not**_ stand by and just watch again!"

And before either Lucius or Bellatrix could reply River raised a small flashing screwdriver.

Bellatrix held up her own wand at the sight of a potential weapon and began to speak the incantation,

"Avada..."

There was a flash of light and Bellatrix's wand began to shake violently before it simply snapped cleanly in half.

"What did you do?" Bellatrix cried in horror as the Doctor yelped, "That's my screwdriver!"

River turned briefly to flash him a mischievous grin, "Snatched it from your back pocket about 10 seconds ago!" Before she turned back to Bellatrix who was staring down at her broken wand, appearing as if she had just lost a lover.

"What you call magic, we call a magnetic field" River began with a smug expression.

Not to be upstaged the Doctor finished for her, " Yes, of course, hidden deep in each wand is a magnet which has basically been supercharged so that it creates the sparks you see. But the magnet is specially made because it can sense not only the magnetic pull of the poles but a person's psychic residue as well. Your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and River why are you staring at me like that?" The Doctor asked suddenly, pointing to River.

"well, if you had a wand at this moment you would know exactly why Doctor!" River replied in a low voice, throwing in a suggestive wink.

"Right well, as i-i was saying..." The Doctor suddenly seemed flustered, "by setting my screwdriver to the right Frequency River was able to reverse the charge. The wand couldn't handle that amount of pressure, it simply broke the attraction the only way it could..."

"By breaking itself" River concluded.

There was a moment of silence before, "WHAT!" six pairs of voices cried.

"Your wand is broken...beyond repair!" River sighed in frustration.

At this Bellatrix threw the two halves of her wand onto the floor and screamed, "Bitch!" before launching herself at River.

The two woman fell to the floor and Bellatrix struck first, punching River in the jaw. River cried out in pain, her hand reaching for the sonic blaster she always kept in the holster at her hip.

She managed to retract the gun, but only to have Bellatrix elbow it out of her hand. The gun spun across the floor under the only cabinet in the room and out of sight.

There was a moment where the scene was frozen, The Doctor stared at Lucius, Lucius at the Doctor before they both dived for the gun.

River's team meanwhile were crowded around both their leader and the other woman, cheering River on but not willing to join in themselves.

"In the face Professor!" Other Dave cried rather enthusiastically

"No, in the ribs, kick her in the ribs!" Proper Dave called out.

River seemed not to hear them both as she, at that moment, couldn't breath. Bellatrix's long fingers were around her neck, squeezing the life our of her. River winced in pain, desperately trying to pry the other woman's fingers away from her neck.

With The last ounce of strength she possessed River raised her head off the ground and rammed her forehead with Bellatrix's. Both women cried out in pain, Bellatrix falling off River and onto the floor in the process.

River clapped a hand to her forehead, "Remind me why i just did that?" she asked more to herself than to anyone else.

The answer became apparent when she clambered to her feet and proceeded to kick every inch of the other woman.

"I'll get you song!" Bellatrix cried madly, giggling despite the unmistakeable sound of several of her ribs breaking. "You and your precious _Doctor_!"

At this River pressed her foot in Bellatrix's chest, making sure to dig her heels in.

"Sorry, didn't catch that last bit" River cried mockingly as she leaned over Bellatrix.

Behind her she heard a triumphant cry and knew that the Doctor had successfully retrieved her sonic blaster.

Despite this Bellatrix began to cackle madly once more, her teeth barley visible behind her wild hair which now covered most of her face.

River froze as she felt the cold metal of a gun barrel between her shoulder blades.

"Professor River Song, you're a hard woman to find" A man's amused tome called out from behind her.

"But never mind that, you're under arrest for the murder of the 12th Emperor of Orion 2.0" The voice continued.

"Ah, so that explains the vase!" the Doctor cried before adding, "but no-one really cares about that do they?"

* * *

_As in my other DW/Hp crossover, the explanation the Doctor gives on magnets is completley made up, __from now on i think it's best if you assume that any explaination the Doctor gives in my Fanfics are wrong! _


	4. Chapter 4

_since Chapter three was so big I decided to make this chapter a bit shorter...actually I'm lying I didn't decide anything It just turned out like this when i was writing! _

_Again I'm gonna __apologise__, this __time for the obscene amount of flirting and for the appearance of my second __fav__. __DW__ character (You'll see very soon!)_

* * *

**Chapter Four: **

"Put your hands in the air where i can see them Mrs Song...or is that Miss?" the man asked

"Oh stop it!" the Doctor snapped and Captain Jack Harkness spun around to grin sheepishly.

"I'm just being friendly" he cried in defence.

"Being friendly doesn't include flirting!" the Doctor replied.

Despite her predicament River grinned as she raised her arms and stepped off Bellatrix.

"I don't mind"

"That's what I'm afraid of!" the Doctor muttered under breath, crossing his arms as he did so.

"Now because I'm good at my job and I like to be uh, thorough we might have to go threw a full body search here" Jack went on.

River's laugh was as manic as Bellatrix's had been, "Are we talking about you or me?"

"Re-joined the time agency I see" The Doctor interrupted in an effort to steer the conversation back on track.

"Well, when the crims are this beautiful" Replied with a nod in River's direction.

Even Bellatrix had to roll her eyes at that remark.

From his long coat Jack produced a pair of handcuffs which he waved playfully in front of River's face.

At this Bellatrix clambered painfully to her feet and shrieked, "They should reserve a whole ward in St Mungo's for all of you!"

Her eyes met Rivers and a ripple of intense dislike passed between the two. Bellatrix cackled in a deranged way one last time.

"Next time we meet Songbird you'll be dead at my feet" she cried before she disappeared in a flash of light. River turned in time to see Lucius do the same.

"Well, that was rude!" Anita cried.

* * *

_Just one more Chapter left, hope you've enjoyed it so far! _


	5. Epilogue

_and here it is, the final chapter_ :D

* * *

**Epilogue: **

6 days after she was imprisoned in the Stormcage containment facility, Professor River Song escaped.

By the time the guard arrived to relieve the Graveyard shift he found a Time Agent by the name of Jack Harkness apparently dead, a lipstick smudge on his mouth.

A curious Hologram hovered over his lifeless body, an emerald skull with a serpent for a tongue.

The guard stepped over what was left of the door and into the cell timidly and prodded the other man on the shoulder. Jack's whole body shuddered before his eyes opened and he sat up, gasping for air.

"They left a note" he said after a few seconds, gesturing to the hologram,

"th-they?" the somewhat confused and shaken guard asked.

"Yeah, little Miss Songbird and the other one, black hair, kinda crazy looking. Said her name was Bellatrix"

There was silence for a few seconds and both men swore afterwards that they heard the sound of laughter, the maddening cackle of two women, before Jack began to speak.

"Captain Jack Harkness by the way," he told the guard, winking as he did so.

* * *

_sorry, couldn't resist adding the last bit in! _

_Now, explanation time... so as you've just read, Bellatrix busted River out of jail, why? you ask, because they can't finish off there fight if her opponents behind bars! :D so i imagine they'll act all friendly until they find an audience that is willing to watch them try and kill eachother because both women are so badass! lol love them both! :D one last thing, I imagine that Lucius is already in trouble with the Missus cos Bella wouldn't waste any time filling Cissi in. And the Doctor? well he's just the Doctor! _

_Hope you enjoyed it! :D _


End file.
